Roll On

I am 23 years old and will be 24 in April, my boyfriend is 3 years younger than me and we have a son that will be 2 in November. We have been together for 3 1/2 years and have lived with my parents the whole time. My boyfriend really wants us to move out on our own but I feel so guilty leaving my parents. I know that everyone has to move out sometime but there are some issues right now that make me unsure and feel extra guilty.

My boyfriend has never really held a job for more than 6 months, most were not his fault ( laid off ) but there were time where he didn’t get back to work for 1-6 months in between. So every time I mention to my dad that we want to get out on our own he says " You won’t make it because you guys aren’t ready and you’ll end up back here anyway." ( If you haven’t already figured it out my mom and dad NEVER want me to leave and I am dead serious when I say this ) Our family has pretty much been renting houses for the past 12-13 years and my dad doesn’t realize that my boyfriend would be buying a house ( with the help of his mom ) because the market is really good for first time home owners right now. My always rolls his eyes and says comments to make me feel like I am not so sure I should move out, he kinda makes me feel insecure with our financial ability if you will.

Now here is the real piece of guilt. My brothers fiance and unborn died August 9th 09 and he didn’t want to stay at the house he was living with his fiance in because well I am sure I don’t have to explain that. So us being sympathetic and STUPID ( they seem to go hand in hand ) we thought that my brother would be a little more responsible and allowed him to move in with us. There was no choice really how could my family turn him away after such a tragedy? Well my brother is a procrastinator and also has irresponsible spending issues so it was a huge mistake.

We were living in a 2 bedroom one bath which we could easily afford even when my boyfriend didn’t have work because my dad made enough. At the time I was a stay at home mom so there were periods where my mom and dad pretty much supported us. Well my brothers fiance that passed has a daughter from a previous marriage and she wanted to stay with him ( her bio dad is a real jerk ). So we needed at least a four bedroom house for all of us to live comfortably. We ended up moving into this house that has more bills than we have money so we are struggling like crazy and everyone is extremely stressed out and depressed. My brother is the worst person in the world to live with ( he doesn’t clean up after himself, he stays up and eats all the food at night that we pay for, he doesn’t take care of the 2 cats, 1 dog or 2 guinea pigs he brought with him nor does he pay for their food,litter ect.) and his fiance’s daughter has decided she likes staying with her grandmother and aunt better now because they let her do whatever she wants such as wear make-up and shave her legs at 10! So now she hardly ever comes over which means we are paying all this money for no reason!

We have a lease of 1 year and have only been here since the middle of August and the biggest problem for my boyfriend and I is that the house is in his name so if we default on the lease that will go on his credit that he has worked so hard to get so that we can move into our own house. After this lease is up he wants us to move out on our own but I just feel so guilty like my parents will feel betrayed or something. My dad is a carpenter so he cant find alot of work right now in this economy and my mom works at burger king so they don’t make much money. They had us really young so they had to work rather than go to school to be able to take care of my brother and I. My dad always makes jokes saying that I might as well not ever move out because by the time I move out they will be moving in to my house so I can take care of them ( hense their jobs do not have retirement plans or 401 k’s so once they can’t work they are pretty screwed ) I am scared they won’t be able to make it and feel like us leaving is a slap in the face. How can I get over this? If I don’t my boyfriend and I are never going to work out and all of our friends always hound me about it…..

Well I wood go see them and hellp them a lot don’t leave them alone